Holiday Bade
by whencloudscry
Summary: Series (hopefully) of holiday-themed Bade one-shots. Most of them will probably be fluff. And most of them will be pretty cute. They follow each other in chronological order and generally fit the day I post them. Completed.
1. Holiday Decorations

**One-shot: Holiday Decorations**

**Rating: K+/T (for implications…pretty mild though)**

**Disclaimer: Bade is not mine :[…nor is Victorious…nor is Frankenstein**

**Summary: Beck drags Jade into decorating their, well technically Beck's, RV.**

**Word count: 1414**

**Continuity: Takes place after my Moving Back In one-shot, which I only have written in my head as of right now. Moving Back In will be post-TFB&J. I guess I could have just said the continuity is post-TFB&J, but that would make things too easy to understand eh?**

**AN: I'm going to try to write a series of holiday themed bade one-shots. I have around 10 planned…but idk how much time I'll have. It's a busy time of the year.**

**AN2: I unexpectedly really liked Robbie Sells Rex…and I really loved Jade in it for some reason and the affair conversation. I'll spare you the details about my opinion on it.**

* * *

_Frankenstein._ Beck finally saw the title of Jade's book that she had placed on his bed before situating herself on the ground next to it, reading the book. He was bored and tried to lift Jade's book up many times, each time only earning him a swat at the hands. But eventually Jade decides it is easier to just let Beck look at the cover.

"Frankenstein?"

Jade nods.

"Are you going to read for a long time?"

Jade nods again.

"But I'm bored."

Jade nods once more.

"How long is it going to take you?"

Another nod.

"Are you listening?"

And again. Beck starts poking her. She tries to dodge his finger, but because her attention is mostly towards the book, he succeeds many times.

"Come with me," Beck pleads.

Jade doesn't even nod anymore. After a few more rounds of ignored begging, Beck decides to try something else. He sneaks behind her and quickly puts his arms under her and picks her up.

Though she was normally way too attentive for everyone else's good, Jade did not expect to be carried. Victor Frankenstein's lack of responsibility towards the creature angered her too much. And in general, Jade's flawless attention became quite flawed when she was angry.

Before Jade could start yelling, or even pick up her dropped book, Beck started running out of the RV, using his back to knock the door open.

"Why am I here?" Jade complained from Beck's arms. Fearing that she would just walk back inside, Beck was afraid to put her down. But Jade not being furious was a good sign.

"You're always here."

"What?" Now Jade sounded like she was on the verge of losing her temper.

"You live here."

"I do not live outside your RV."

"No, you live inside my RV."

"No I don't. I have a house. Well my dad has a house."

"I know." Sometimes Jade wishes she could hate that stupid smirk on Beck's face.

"I meant why did you drag me out the RV?"

"I didn't drag you. I carried you." Perhaps hating Beck's stupid little smirk was possible.

"Beck" Jade felt like she sounded like a mother giving her son a warning as he reached out to steal a cookie before dinner or something. Oddly enough, it didn't disgust her quite as much as she expected.

"I need some help."

Jade tried her best to look at him from head to toe, which was rather unsuccessful since he was still holding her bridal style.

"I want to decorate the RV."

"So?"

"You should help me."

"Put me down."

"Will you run back to the RV?"

"Of course not," Jade had an innocent pout on her face.

Beck slowly put Jade down. Once Jade's feet touched the ground, she started sprinting. But after being together for so long, Beck could easily predict Jade's next move. Well, this time it was pretty obvious, even if you weren't Beck. So Beck kept holding onto Jade's wrist, pulling her back to him.

"Please stay?"

"Why should I?"

"I need help."

"So?" If it weren't for Beck's grasp on her wrist, Jade would have left already.

"I don't want to fall off the ladder and hit my head and die."

"You're always so overly dramatic."

"I'm an actor babe."

"So?"

"It's part of the job description." Beck winked at her. Jade rolled her eyes at him.

"You have the lights already?"

Beck pointed to a couple overfilled paper bags sitting next to the RV and sheepishly admitted, "My mom wanted to buy new lights for the house so I got to have our old ones."

"I'll get the ladder from your parents' garage. You start untangling that mess."

Beck smiled and gave Jade a quick kiss on the cheek before releasing her wrist and walking towards the tangled Christmas lights.

When Jade came back, carrying the ladder, Beck was sitting on the ground trying to untangle the lights. With another roll of the eyes, Jade leaned the ladder against the RV and plopped down next to Beck and started untangling, well trying to untangle, the other bag.

"Who put these away? They didn't even try to keep them straight, or wrap them in coils, so that next year, we wouldn't have to be doing…this." Jade would never become famous for her patience; talent, likely, patience, no.

"Hey! My parents asked me to put it away last year. You know that." Beck protested.

"It really shows."

Beck pouted.

_- (five minutes later) -_

"Why did I agree to do this?"

"Cause you love me."

"Definitely not."

"You aren't doing this because you love me or you don't love me?"

"Both."

"Liar."

"Shut up."

"Liar liar pants on fire."

"You are so immature."

"But you love me anyways."

"You are such a dork in private."

"You love that."

"If you acted like this around other people, girls would stop liking you."

"You like me."

Beck gave her a nudge and a cheeky grin.

"You are so intolerable."

_- (fifteen minutes later) -_

"Babe?"

"What?" Jade was irritated.

"I think I'm making it worse."

"You make everything worse."

"You don't have to be mean."

"But you love me anyways." Jade said in her Beck voice.

Beck tried to shoot her a Jade-like dirty look.

_- (one hour later) -_

"Stop trying." Jade was looking at the tangle of lights in Beck's hands.

The lights from Jade's bag were separated into neat coils.

"How do you do that?"

"It's not my fault your incompetent."

Wrapping his hands around her waist, he whispered into her ear, "I'm not incompetent in everything. I think I make up my lack of ability to untangle things with other things."

Jade could only smile.

_- (twenty minutes later) -_

Jade started trying to untangle Beck's bag. Beck sat next to Jade, playing with her hair.

"I shouldn't have let you touch these lights."

"You're so mean to me."

"You sound like Cat."

"You like it."

"No. If I liked it, I would just date Cat."

"But Cat doesn't….Cat isn't…Cat…" Beck tried desperately to say that Cat was a girl in an inoffensive way that wouldn't make Jade want to punch him.

_- (one hour later) -_

Beck had fallen asleep, leaning against the RV. Jade threw a coil of lights at the sleeping boy.

"You're done." Beck exclaimed delightedly.

"You were zero help."

Beck wrapped his arms around her, and smiled way too brightly. And Jade turned her head to hide her smile.

"Get on the ladder."

_- (thirty minutes later) -_

"Does this look good?" Beck called from the top of the RV. After minutes of holding the ladder as Beck climbed up and attached as much of the string of lights as he could reach before climbing down and moving the ladder a little to the side, Jade was sick of it and told Beck to just stay on the top.

"Yeah, it's perfect." Jade called back. Receiving a sincere evaluation of perfection from Jade was more than rare, so that should have been a hint.

"Let me down."

"Figure it out yourself, Rapunzel."

"Hey, you of all people should know that I'm very masculine." Though Jade didn't actually see it, she could imagine Beck's wink. That boy liked to wink way too much.

Jade eventually brought the ladder over and held it still for Beck to climb down. When he did, she immediately carried it to his car and tied it to the top of the car. Then she drove away before Beck even realized that she took his car keys. What concerned Beck the most was that Jade seemed like she was trying to suppress giggles. Few people have seen Jade giggle, or come close to giggling, because she rarely ever did it. Maybe she was feeling the holiday spirit. Or maybe Beck should be worried. The latter seemed more probable.

Beck immediately examined the lights. It was pretty crooked, so good thing Beck was onstage and not working backstage, but he didn't see any reason for Jade to take off.

Well until, he reached the last side of the RV, the side facing his house. The lights and the pattern on the RV somehow formed a shape that reminded him of a certain part of his body that Jade didn't have. That must be why Jade left with the ladder. All Beck could do was take out his phone and call André.

"Hey man, do you have a ladder?"

* * *

**AN: I didn't proofread this yet. So let me know if there are any typos or illogical parts. And tell me if I should write/post more holiday-related bade one-shots :]**


	2. Christmas Tree

**One-shot: Christmas Tree**

**Rating: K+ (there may be one or two very minor references that you will probably only get if you have a dirty mind…and if you have a dirty mind then im not worried about it being inappropriate)**

**Disclaimer: No Victorious characters are mine.**

**Summary: Now that the holiday lights are on the RV, Beck wants to get a Christmas tree for the RV.**

**Word count: 1586**

**Continuity: Couple days after Holiday Decorations.**

**AN: [at end]**

* * *

"Babeeee…" Beck often whined to wheedle Jade's attention while she's working.

Jade grunted.

"Did you just grunt?"

"No."

"You just grunted."

"No."

"Don't worry. I completely understand."

"There's nothing to understand."

"Except that you grunted."

"No I didn't." Jade was starting to lose her temper.

"Did you just growl?"

"No."

"I like it when you growl and grunt. It reminds me…"

Beck was interrupted by the pillow Jade stuffed in his mouth.

"How am I supposed to get work done if you keep distracting me with your nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense."

Jade just shot him a look.

"I wanted to ask you for help actually."

"Oh god not again."

"Hey! I take offense in that tone."

"Good."

"I haven't even told you what I need help with."

"It's stupid."

"Jade!"

"Last time I helped you, I ended up spending like two hours untangling Christmas lights that you couldn't even hang straight."

"You didn't have to steal our ladder."

"You found another one."

"Andre had to drive over to bring me one."

"You have a friend. Congrats."

Deciding to ignore Jade's sarcasm, Beck tried his luck. "I want to get a Christmas tree."

"What? Why?"

"I like Christmas trees." Apparently that was the best reason Beck could come up with.

"So?"

"I want to get one for the RV."

"Look around." Beck did as he was told.

"I don't see anything special."

"This place is tiny."

"It's not that bad."

"It's tiny."

"It's an RV. How big do you want it to be?" Beck was exasperated.

"And your stuff is everywhere."

"So is yours."

"Exactly."

"What?" Now Beck was confused. Now what argument were they having?

"Where are you going to put a stupid tree?"

Oh. So that was the point Jade was trying to make.

"We can clean?"

"YOU can clean."

"I can clean." Beck nodded.

"Your RV is still really short though."

"We'll just get a short tree."

"I don't like short trees."

"Why not?" Since when did the height of the tree make a difference?

"I don't like Christmas trees."

"Oh."

Beck thought for a while before continuing, "I still want a Christmas tree."

"No."

"Why not? You were okay with the lights."

"I don't have to look at it all day."

"You don't have to look at the Christmas tree all day."

"Your RV is only so big. It's impossible not to."

"What's so bad about seeing a Christmas tree all day?"

"I don't like Christmas trees."

"You already said that."

"It's not my fault you have trouble comprehending."

"I do not."

"Whatever."

Jade went back to work, but Beck sat on his bed, thinking.

"Please?"

"No."

Unfortunately for Jade, Beck was one of the few people that would stubbornly argue with her until he got his way.

"Please?"

"Oh my god. Beck, shut up."

"But I want a tree."

"Why are you such a child?"

"I think you likeeee children."

Jade threw her water bottle at Beck, who ducked.

"Please?"

"Ugh."

Jade was caving, something that often happened when Beck begged. She was happy that Beck was only willing to beg in private; he didn't want to ruin his 'cool guy' attitude. Otherwise, everyone would think that she was soft.

"Can we get a tree?"

"Outside."

"We can get a tree? Let's go." Beck got up and started rummaging through his stuff to find his keys.

"Put it outside."

"Wait. What?" Beck stopped and stared at Jade.

"If we get a tree, we put it outside."

"But but but…"

"It's a compromise."

"What if someone steals our Christmas tree?"

"Why would anyone do that?"

"Because they want a Christmas tree."

"That's stupid."

"Or maybe they hate Christmas."

"If they stole a Christmas tree then they would be stuck with a Christmas tree."

"They might throw it away."

"No one who hates Christmas is that nice."

"Nice?"

"Disposing your Christmas trash for you?"

"Oh. Well I guess we can keep it outside."

"Good." With that Jade went back to reading her script. And Beck kept digging around the RV for his car keys. Jade had driven his car last and she had a tendency to put his car keys where he has difficulty finding them.

"Babe?"

"What do you need now?"

"Where are my car keys?"

"Where you last left them."

"You drove my car last."

"So?"

"Where did you put them?"

"Why do you need them?"

"We're going to go buy a Christmas tree."

"No. You're going to clean first while I edit this script some more."

"Can I read it yet?"

"No." Beck was used to it. Jade would edit the crap out of her scripts before she would be happy enough with it to let someone else read them. And even then, she would only let Beck read them because he bugged her enough. She always said that Beck gave horrible feedback, something Beck took offense to.

"Why do I need to clean? Are you letting me keep the tree inside? Thank you Jade!" Then Beck ran out the RV into his parents' house.

Jade rolled her eyes and went back to her script. Minutes later, he returned with a vacuum cleaner.

"I never said that you could keep the tree…" Jade started but was cut off with the sound of the vacuum cleaner.

"Sorry babe, the vacuum's too loud. I can't hear you." Beck shouted.

"Okay, fine."

"Really?" Beck turned the device off.

"I thought you couldn't hear me."

"No. But I…I…I could read your lips that time?"

Jade started mouthing words at him.

"Let's see. You are saying… 'Beck is so hot. Best boyfriend ever.' Awww gee thanks babe."

That earned him a smack on the head.

"Keep cleaning."

So Jade went back to her script, again, and Beck went to his cleaning.

The RV was quiet for quite some time. And then, "Jade, I'm done." Beck had completely cleared out one corner of the RV. The rest still had stuff all over it.

Jade wasn't particularly picky about neatness though, so she just shrugged and shut down the top of her laptop.

"Wait." Beck remembered something.

"You change your mind already?"

"No. Car keys."

Jade sighed and pulled out the keys from the pocket of her sweatshirt. Beck shot her a look and Jade just smirked back at him.

_- (time break) -_

"This one?" Beck said pointing at a tree.

"No. Too tall."

"This one?"

"That one's just plain ugly."

"That one?"

"It looks like Andre." Beck shot her a nasty look, which Jade ignored.

"How about that one? That one's short."

"It's like dying."

"This one?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I just don't like it."

"Stop being so judgmental of these trees."

"You're forcing me to spend the next week looking at a tree. The least you could do is pick a decent looking tree. Oh and one that fits in the RV so we don't have to come back to this stupid place." Jade kicked a pebble on the ground.

"Fine. That one?"

"No."

"That one?"

"No."

"That one?"

"Ew."

"That one?"

"Nope."

"That one?"

"Still no."

"This one?"

"Sure."

"Really?"

"No."

"What about…that one?"

"Are you out of your mind? That thing is huge."

"That one?"

"No."

"That one?"

"Beck, you aren't even looking at these trees before pointing."

"Fine. This one?"

"No."

"How about…that one?"

"No."

"This one?"

"Well, it's not horrendous."

Beck was afraid to say anything. In fact he couldn't even tell if he was allowed to breathe. But he eventually had to do something, because Jade was not talking and just staring at the tree.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Can we get it?"

"You're paying for it."

That was apparently the tree to get Jade's approval. Beck gave a smile so wide that Jade couldn't help but smile a little too. Of course, she turned her head to face a tree and hide it.

He waved over an overzealous man in an elf suit about three sizes too small. The sight of the guy made Jade have an even harder time suppressing her laughter.

"Happy holidays guys. Find your perfect tree yet?"

"Ummm. I think we'll go with this one." Beck said, uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck as he pointed at the tree Jade deemed 'not horrendous.'

"Ahhh that tree sure is a beauty, but you sure you don't want something bigger?"

"Bigger won't fit in my RV." Beck was still uncomfortable and Jade wasn't about to help.

"Alright then, you guys super excited to take this fine thing home?"

"Suuuuuper." Jade said with a smirk towards Beck.

"Ummmm we were just finding a tree." Beck said, ignoring Jade's smirk.

"I'll go get some of my fellow elves to help you haul this baby to your car. Hang tight, I'll be back in a jiffy."

With that the large elf walked away, whistling some tune that sounded like it was supposed to be Frosty the Snowman, but he was so off that no one would be surprised if he was going for something else.

"What happened to Mr. Please-Jade-I-just-have-to-have-a-Christmas-tree?" Jade often teased Beck about his tendency to be a huge child and a huge dork when it's just the two of them, then put on his 'cool guy' act whenever someone else was around, even if that someone was a Santa's helper roughly the size of Santa himself.

Beck just pouted, which earned him a smile for Jade. So he pulled her in closer and quickly kissed her on her forehead before the Santa in an elf's suit came back.

* * *

**AN: Sorry that the general feel/idea of this one-shot was kind of similar to the last one. And that I am way too heavy on dialogue. I'll try to do my best to cut that down next time (unless you guys prefer dialogue?). Let me know your opinion on dialogue :]**


	3. Two Elves or a Santa (part 1)

**Two-shot: Two Elves or a Santa (part 1)**

**Rating: T (nothing graphic…just talking with inappropriate content…the story with the kids is the most inappropriate one thus far…figures…)**

**Disclaimer: If only I could have Bade as a Christmas gift, then I would own Bade. **

**Summary: Jade needs money so Beck finds them a job: dressing up as Santa's helpers to accompany his neighbor, Santa, to a Christmas party.**

**Word count: 1144**

**Continuity: Few days after Christmas Tree**

**AN: This is a two-shot because it got long and I'm already late (compared to when I was planning to get this posted) so I wanted to post it but didn't have time to finish it.**

**AN2: Most of you weren't too bothered by the dialogue so I'm probably going to slightly overuse dialogue again…that's what happens when I write these as quickly as I can. Hopefully it's not too hard to follow.**

* * *

"Do you remember the conversation we had like two weeks ago?" Beck cautiously asked.

His hesitation in approaching the question made Jade a bit suspicious. Raising her eyebrow, she just looked at her boyfriend.

"The one about you needing money?" If possible, the caution seemed even stronger and even more obvious.

"You have money now?" Jade was often in need of money. Her parents were fairly rich, and were willing to pay for her, as long as it was an activity that they considered "productive." But since Jade was not what her parents were hoping for in regards to "proper," she was constantly trying to get enough money for the activities her parents did not approve of.

"No. And I'd have to use it to fix the RV if I did."

"Right."

"You know you should really…"

"Don't say it." Jade interrupted before Beck could tell her to get a job again.

"I'm just trying to…"

"You don't have a job either." Jade cut Beck off again.

"That's true, but I…" Beck paused, turning to look at Jade.

"You what?"

"Why didn't you cut me off this time?"

"Because I wanted to hear what you had to say." Jade smiled sweetly.

"You knew I didn't know what to say." Beck accused. Of course Jade knew. So she just continued her innocent smile.

Beck continued, "Anyways, I may have a way for us to get money." Perhaps it was because of fear for Jade's reaction to his idea, his voice lowered.

Misunderstanding, whether intentionally or unintentionally was debatable, Jade lowered her voice too, "Does it involve sex?"

"What? No!"

"Nudity?"

"Jade." Beck warned.

"It sounds boring then."

"Jade!" The warning was now better described as a shout.

"Fine. What's your brilliant plan?"

"Well, my neighbor is looking for two elves…"

"Are you fucking me right now? Two elves?" Jade was more irritated than usual.

"Well, I guess if you want me to be fucking you right now, I could fulfill that wish."

"Beck, seriously?"

"Okay fine," he held his hands up, surrendering. "During the holidays, my neighbor always dresses up as Santa Claus for parties. And he has two elves as helpers. He has a party tomorrow, but both of his elves are sick. So he's looking for two new ones."

Jade nods but doesn't say anything.

"So what do you think?" Beck continued.

"I'll do it."

"Seriously?" Beck wasn't expecting Jade to agree to dressing up as an elf and escorting Santa Claus around.

"Yeah."

"You have to dress up as an elf."

"I know."

"Do you know what elves wear? Let me google it."

"I know what elves wear." Jade was losing her patience.

"The party is like all kids."

"I know."

"You have to be super nice to them and watch your language and not throw rocks at…" Beck started to go on a rant.

"Fuck, Beck, I know."

"And you still want to do it?" Beck was surprised that Jade would agree.

"Yes." But Jade really needed the money. And soon.

"You know, I could always go ask Cat to help. Cat would…"

"NO!" Jade was very annoyed now.

"Okay then. I guess we're going to be elves then?"

"Yeah."

_ (Next Day)_

Jade stayed at home with her brother that night. He didn't like sleeping in the house alone.

During the morning, Beck's neighbor came, thanked Beck profusely and gave him two elf costumes. Beck had put on his costume and was examining himself in the mirror.

While he was looking, the door to his RV was kicked open.

"You could have knocked." Beck said, turning towards his girlfriend.

"Then I'd have to wait."

"What if I was naked?"

"Well those stupid bimbos outside your RV would be excited."

"Are they there again?"

"And take pictures."

"Can you get rid of them babe?" Beck could never get them to leave, but Jade was pretty good at scaring them off.

"And post them on the internet."

"But I don't want naked pictures of me on the internet."

Jade's brow furrowed, "You should have said something about that earlier."

"Jade…Jade? Did you really?"

"Well…"

"Jade!"

"I'm kidding."

Beck eyed her suspiciously before walking towards his pearpad and opening Google.

"You know, if I really did put naked pictures of you, you wouldn't be able to find them that easily." That Jade knew her way around the computer was a fact.

"That's not helping."

"Babe, chill, if there were, some Northridge girl would have found it already and have told you."

That was probably true, but Beck was still concerned, "What if they don't tell me because they don't want me to get it taken off."

"First of all, once it's on the internet, you can never completely take it off. Second, they aren't smart."

"True."

"And I wouldn't do that."

"Fine. My neighbor dropped off our costumes."

Jade went to examine and change into the elf dress.

Say what you want, but Beck had trouble keeping his eyes off Jade as she changed into it.

The dress ended up being extremely tight and too short. Apparently the girl that was usually the girl elf was tiny.

Examining the dress on her, Jade concluded, "I look like I'm going to go work at a Christmas-themed party at a strip club."

"I don't think I want you wearing that in public." Beck seemed bothered.

"Well I can't do anything about that."

"We could get another one."

"That would cost money. I don't have money. I need money."

"You still haven't told me why you need money so badly."

"And I'm not going to."

Beck sighed, knowing that Jade wouldn't tell him until he was ready. But he was still curious, "Should I be worried?"

"You should always be worried."

Jade leaned over to kiss him. The kiss got passionate very quickly and they looked like two elves ready to swallow each other.

Temporarily breaking the kiss, Beck commented, "You should really take off that really tight elf dress."

"Maybe you should" was the retort.

But before Beck could undo the zipper, his phone rang.

"Ignore it." Jade commanded.

"What if it's my neighbor?"

"Fine." Jade got off of Beck and he reached for his phone.

Jade undid her own zipper and stepped out of the dress as Beck talked on the phone. He wasn't doing much of the talking.

After saying goodbye and hanging up, Beck turned towards Jade, pretending he wasn't eyeing Jade undressing throughout the whole conversation.

"Ummm Jade?" he began, sounding nervous again.

"Hmmm?"

"My neighbor said he's sick too, the elves were probably contagious or something. So he's going to find another Santa for the job."

"What?" Jade looked livid.

It didn't seem like a big deal, not being able to wear an inappropriate elf dress to prance around children and their dads and uncles, but she really needed the money.

* * *

**AN: I gave up on pretending to be super appropriate in this.**

**AN2: Please suggest ideas that Jade could earn the money. I already know what she's going to end up doing, but I need ideas for Jade to talk about…anything no matter how crazy works. Thank you in advance. **


	4. Two Elves or a Santa (part 2)

**Two-shot: Two Elves or a Santa (part 2)**

**Rating: T **

**Disclaimer: Actually I wish I could own Victorious as a Christmas gift.**

**Summary: Beck's neighbor is sick, so Jade needs to figure out how she's going to get the money she needs. **

**Word count: 1902**

**Continuity: Right after part1 ended**

**AN: Second half of the two-shot. You guys didn't seem to like this one as much as the other two. Well unfortunately I kinda liked it so I wrote part 2 anyways. If it counts for anything I feel like this part is a lot better than the first. **

* * *

"My neighbor said he's sick too, the elves were probably contagious or something. So he's going to find another Santa for the job."

"What?" Jade looked livid. She needed the money and being Santa's elf for a holiday party was what was going to get her that money.

"So I guess we're out of a job." Beck scratched the back of his neck.

Jade started putting clothes back on and murmuring, "What can I do? What can I do? How can I get money?"

"We could do a lemonade stand?" Beck offered. He did like lemonade a little too much for his own good after all.

"You'll just end up drinking it all, like the last time I made lemonade."

"That's probably true," Beck agreed, "We could walk dogs?"

"I'm not good with dogs. I have a tendency to make dogs very hostile."

Beck nodded, remembering the time Jade bought him a dog, and that dog was hostile enough to attack his dad. So walking dogs was probably a bad idea.

Speaking of hostile and attacks, Beck thought of the time Jade roped him into taking care of Trina.

"Tori would probably pay you to keep Trina far away from their house for a day." Beck joked.

Jade just glared at him.

Beck sighed and said, "Babysitting?"

Jade gave a disgusted look but stopped moving. "Wait." Jade looked at Beck.

"What?"

"That's it!"

"Babysitting?"

"No stupid. Call your neighbor."

"What?"

"Just do it."

"He's sick."

"I know."

"Then why do you want me to call him?" Beck was confused.

"Tell him not to find another Santa."

"But the kids are looking forwards to meeting Santa."

"And they will."

"What?"

"I want to be Santa Claus."

"Whoa WHAT?"

"Tell your neighbor that I'll be Santa."

"Where did this come from?"

"Well he needs someone to be Santa Claus. I need the money soon. Being Santa probably pays even better than being an elf. And you won't have to watch your girlfriend walk around dressed like a Christmas prostitute."

"A Christmas prostitute?"

"Yeah I think banging an elf counts as hiring a Christmas prostitute."

"Why would an elf…prostitute…what?" Sometimes Jade's logic was hard to follow.

"Well Santa probably doesn't pay that well, and the people with a Christmas fetish is like an industry hardly touched upon, so it probably pays okay."

Beck shook his head, "we are not having this conversation right now."

"Right. So will you ask him?"

"Can you even sound like Santa?"

"Of course I can." Jade said using one of her favorite man voices. **(AN: think the Bade Drive by Acting Challenge)**

"That's too creepy sounding."

"Ho ho ho. I'm Santa Claus." Jade made her man voice sound more jolly.

"Still a little feminine."

"How about this?" Jade lowered her voice a little more.

"Good. But can you keep that up for a whole night?"

"I don't think I can stay this low, but I can be pretty close. I guess you'll just have to do as much of the talking as possible." Jade continued with her newfound Santa voice.

"I guess. But you aren't fat enough."

"Layers."

"You'll get overheated."

"Feed me lots of water." Jade went back to her normal voice.

"How are you going to get your face to look like Santa's?"

"Well I'll get an especially large beard and that will cover half of my face. And ask Cat for help with makeup on the other half."

"Cat will be so excited."

"Ughhhh. Remind me to tell Cat not to tell anyone about this. Oh and you don't tell anyone about this either." Jade glared at him.

"Got it. But Cat can't really keep a secret."

"Yeah she can."

"Remember when Tori told her not to tell anyone about the party bus?"

"Cat just chooses which secrets need to be kept and whose secrets should be kept."

"Really?"

"Well you haven't found out about the…" Jade started before dramatically putting her hand over her mouth.

"Jade." Beck warned.

Jade smiled, and said "the nothing."

"Jade you need to stop doing this."

"Nawww. Watching the cool and collected Beck Oliver freak is fun."

"You are so cruel. I'm worried now."

"Remember that you should always be worried though."

"Well I guess I'll call him," said a defeated Beck.

Jade kissed him on the cheek. And with that, Beck's I guess turned in to a definitely. After a couple years of dating and kissing, Jade still had that effect on him. So he dialed his phone.

Meanwhile, Jade went to another corner of the RV and called Cat. The two conversations couldn't be more different. Beck was politely trying to quell his neighbor's doubts about letting a teenage girl play the part of Santa Claus. On the other hand, Jade was shooting out sarcastic remarks, rolling her eyes, and trying to calm down an excited Cat, oh and making her promise not to tell anyone.

Both conversations were successful. The legitimate fake Santa hesitantly agreed, mostly because he couldn't find anyone else and it was better to have a teen girl Santa than no Santa, especially since she was an actress. He just hoped she was a good one. The bubbly redhead immediately agreed to do Jade's makeup. Her excitement could be heard through the phone. She had a harder time promising to keep it a secret though. But she did, and Cat always kept Jade's secrets. Jade was her best friend and big sister, sometimes even mother, after all, even though Cat was technically older than Jade.

Cat arrived at the RV while Beck was getting his neighbor's Santa outfit.

By the time Beck got back, Jade was already halfway done.

"You certainly are turning into an old man." Beck said, admiring Cat's work.

"Not just an old man, Santa Claus." Cat giggled.

"Santa Claus." Beck nodded.

"This is the best present Jadey could ever give me. I've always wanted to create Santa." Cat clapped happily, causing Jade to yell at her for knocking some dust on her.

"I don't think it's a present," Beck tried to reason with Cat.

"Of course it is. Anything that makes you happy is a present." With that, Cat went back to work.

Jade got completely transformed into Santa Claus in the next hour.

Cat smiled at Santa, well Jade. Then she wrapped her arms around her belly. It was a merge of two of her favorite people: Jade and Santa Claus. Both were magical to her.

The trio walked out the RV: Santa Claus, an elf, and Cat.

"Hey you going to be okay?" Beck called to Cat who was waiting for her brother to pick her up.

"Yeah. Bye Santa!" Beck could see Jade's smile forming behind the mass of beard.

And the couple drove to the house.

They sat in car a block away for a while, waiting for the phone call telling them to enter. Normally, they would be making out, but it was a little awkward, Santa making out with an elf. So they just talked, and talked, and talked.

At 8:27 pm, the call came. Beck drove the car to house. And they walked in.

At the sight of Santa, the kids screamed and all ran to Jade. Little hands were everywhere and little people were trying to jump on her.

Jade did a decent job sitting with all the kids, reading them a Christmas story. Meanwhile, Beck fed her a lot of water and got the sack from the owner of the house. The sack was filled with presents, bought by the parents for Santa to pass out for the kid.

Calling out the names, Santa handed the kid their present and took a picture. The kids were in awe how the present was exactly what they wanted.

After that, Jade played a couple games with the kids. It ended up being more like Beck played the games while Jade sat and watched because all the layers made it a little hard to move.

An hour and a half later, Santa was finally leaving. Waving goodbye at the kids and saying one last "Ho ho ho and Merry Christmas," Jade walked out the door with Beck and the owner of the house following her.

"Can I ask you a question?" The owner asked as they stopped in front of Beck's car.

"Sure."

"I don't mean to be offensive, but are you by any chance female?"

Jade and Beck started laughing hysterically. But the owner looked confused.

"So…ummmm…are you?"

"Last time I checked I was." Jade replied in her normal voice.

"YES!" The owner jumped up, which was a pretty funny view, a grown man in a thick jacket bouncing like a child.

Beck and Jade exchanged confused looks. Seeing their exchange, the man explained. "we made bets."

"And you bet that I was a girl?"

"Yeah. Is there any way that you could prove it?"

"I could rip off my beard and go back in." Jade offered.

"NO!" The man even held out his hand in a stop sign. "You'll ruin Christmas for the kids."

"Right."

"Can I get a picture of you?"

"Aren't you afraid of the kids seeing it?" Beck questioned.

"I didn't think of that," then turning to Jade, he asked, "Are you wearing nail polish?"

"Well yeah."

"Can I take a picture of your hand holding your glove?"

"I guess."

After that was done, the owner put his phone away and pulled out his checkbook.

"So who do I address this check to?"

"Jade West" the girl said, smiling.

"And for yours?" he said turning to Beck.

"We get paid separately? I thought I get paid from her?"

"Well that's how it usually goes, but you guys are probably unfamiliar with the rules and wages."

"There are rules for being Santa?" Jade looked slightly appalled.

"See? I don't want her to steal your money boy." The owner teased Beck, "she does seem pretty feisty."

Jade glared.

The owner stopped laughing and asked Beck, "so who do I address your check to?"

"Jade West." Beck answered.

The owner looked a little surprised but wrote it down. And the couple smiled at each other.

After getting their checks they got in the car, Beck helped Jade squeeze into the passenger seat before easily sliding into the driver's seat. He turned the engine on and the heater and radio started. Last Christmas, Jade's favorite holiday song (but don't tell anyone that she likes it), was just finishing up.

"You were amazing." Beck told his girlfriend, handing her his check. She was the best Santa Claus he met.

"I'm about to kiss Santa Claus." Beck told his Santa. He leaned in, trying to kiss her, but getting a mouth full of fake white beard. It made the couple laugh. Just then, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus started playing, making the two of them laugh even harder.

Once they got over their laughing fit, Jade pulled off her beard, wincing in the process, before leaning in to kiss Beck. Beck smiled in the kiss because there was no one that made him as happy as Jade did.

After the time Jade spent sweating and dehydrating under the layers of clothes, forcing her voice into an unnatural Santa voice for hours, and dealing with grubby hands of children all over her, Beck Oliver had better love his Christmas present.

What she didn't realize was that she was the best present he ever received.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for the suggestions. I feel weird using other people's ideas…like I'm stealing or something.**

**AN2: Unedited XD so excuse any errors in spelling, grammar, or logic please.**


	5. Late for Christmas

**Drabble: Late for Christmas**

**Rating: K**

**Disclaimer: I didn't get Victorious or Bade for Christmas so I still don't own them. *pouts***

**Word count: 100**

**Continuity: Christmas morning (after Two Elves or a Santa)**

**AN: This is a drabble. **

**AN2: Happy Christmas to those of you that celebrate Christmas, whether it is in a religious or a commercial sense or not at all XD**

* * *

Jade pushed Beck's arm off of her and sat up on the tiny one-person RV bed. A little sunlight shined through the heavily tinted windows.

Jade shook Beck rather roughly until he got up. They were late. By now, Jade was supposed to be at home, getting ready for her father's company party, and Beck was supposed to be at his house, playing with his cousins from Canada.

Acknowledging the time, they both sprang off the bed to get ready, but before Jade could find her shirt, Beck pulled her closer. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Merry Christmas babe."


	6. Returning Your Things

**One-shot: Returning Your Things**

**Rating: K+/T**

**Disclaimer: No Bade for me.**

**Summary: During the holidays, everyone gets gifts that they need, or want, to exchange or return. Beck and Jade are returning things that the other received this year.**

**Word count: 1238**

**Continuity: Day after Christmas**

**AN: I don't know how cute this one is going to be. I think these are getting progressively less cute and weirder as I go. I'll try my best to make add a little sweet in there.**

* * *

"Why?" An angry teenage girl was yelling into the red pearphone she held with one hand. Well, yelling wasn't the right word because her voice was calm and low in volume despite the chaos around her, but the anger was noticeably present. In her other hand was a pair of jeans, men's jeans.

"I don't want to be here. The line is giving me rashes." The girl with dark hair and purple highlights gestured to the line of people she was in, even though whoever she was talking to couldn't see. There were over forty people in that line, with roughly thirty in front of her.

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes as she listened to what the person on the other end was saying.

Seeing that the girl seemed quite focused on the conversation, or was it argument, a middle-aged man with a holey shirt and cargo pants, both with an array of stains, tried to sneak in front of her in the line. He grabbed onto her arm as he did. His intentions seemed to be more than just balance.

"Beat it." The girl screamed at the man, who was leaning so close to her that she could smell the alcohol in his breath.

If the venom in her voice wasn't enough to scare him off, the glare she gave him sure was. So he tried his best to scramble away.

"Some drunken deadbeat tried to cut in front of me," the girl said into her phone, "no, he didn't do anything to me." She brushed off his obvious intentions.

The person she was talking to was obviously worried because the girl continued, "I already told you, I'm fine. It's not like this is dark alley, mother." The sarcasm oozed from her voice, making the old lady behind her hope it wasn't her mother she was talking to.

"Anyways, why couldn't your stupid aunt figure out what size you wear before buying this piece of crap?" The female looked down at the pair of jeans hanging on her arm as she tried to change the subject.

"And why do I have to exchange it to your size. It's so ugly, you would never wear it." She quickly said soon after she finished her last sentence, obviously cutting off the other person.

Her eyes widened as she mocked in a nasally voice, "It's the thought that counts." Then she continued with, "And why do I have to wait in this stupid line for you. I could have just told you what size pants you usually wear." The lady behind her sighed in relief; she was pretty sure the girl wasn't talking to her mother.

To her surprise though, the girl laughed, genuinely laughed, at what was said next. She had been annoyed the rest of the time. While it was true that the long return line gave most people their after-holiday bitterness, the girl seemed like she was ready to kill. The lady wish she could have heard what was so funny.

But maybe it was better that she didn't, because the boy on the phone with her had protested, "What you made me do is way worse. I'm a teenage guy, alone, in this way too pink store, waiting to exchange a bra."

"No I'm not going to take a picture," the boy with pretty hair and olive skin replied in disgust at what the girl had last said.

"Do you have any idea how many dirty looks I have gotten from mothers and other old women?" He said into the pearphone in his hand. It was the same one she had, but in black. His other hand was empty because he had folded up the bra with red and gold sequins decorating it into his pocket. But whether being empty-handed was any more acceptable was debatable.

"Ha! There's only like five more people in my line." He said happily finally winning something. The other end of their conversation was obviously short on patience and this made her wish she hadn't agreed to exchange his pants if he returned something for her.

Whatever she said in reply made his brow furrow, "Who would give you a bra for Christmas though?"

"It was probably her boyfriend," the middle-aged woman in front of him turned to say, giving a slight wink.

"But I am her boyfriend," he covered his mouthpiece to tell the lady, who only shrugged before turning back around.

Then he went back to his conversation on the phone. "What?" he spluttered.

"Why would your uncle give you a bra? And why would he know what size you are?" He questioned.

"Is your uncle doing anything to you?" the pretty boy lowered his voice and cupped his hand over his mouth.

The girl obviously brushed it off. "We are finishing this conversation at home," the boy said.

"No, none of the girls are hitting on me. They're all too busy thinking I'm a perv." He sounded a little annoyed.

He had reached the front of the line by that time so he quickly told her, "I'm at the front of the line now, I'll call you later. Love you," before hanging up.

The guy walked up to the empty returns person, a fairly young woman at about twenty-seven. She had on a face full of makeup and large hoop earrings. She was wearing her blonde hair in a tight, high ponytail.

"How may I help you?" She was visibly worn out from the amount of customers she dealt with. Jobs requiring customer service were usually bad enough, but the angry folks trying to return and exchange things after they wait in a long line were horrible. And it was especially bad if a lot of them were middle-aged women who were always trying to get the best deal, save the most money, and get out of their as soon as possible because they needed to run to like ten different stores for their family. And the majority of the customers not in that category were old women who had a hard time hearing and moved as slow as possible.

"I would like to return something." The teenage boy said rather quietly, seeming quite uncomfortable. It was refreshing for the employee of the lingerie store to see a young person, especially a boy, the day after Christmas.

"Okay." She replied as he reached into his pocket to pull out the shiny bra and a gift receipt.

"I didn't give it to her," he quickly explained, "and it's not a gift for me."

The girl tried her best not to laugh, "Are you returning or exchanging?"

"Return."

"Reason for return?" she was failing at her quest to not laugh.

"My girlfriend said it was too sparkly and that she wasn't an exotic dancer," he seemed to be repeating verbatim what she had said.

"It was sweet of you to return this for her."

"Yeah, I had her exchange pants for me because I don't really know what size to get."

She smiled to herself at the strange young couple as she pressed buttons on the keypad for her customers.

"Okay you're done. Happy holidays," she smiled.

He hurried out of the way too pink lingerie store as fast as he possibly could. And he took out his black pearphone and dialed as he hurried towards the parking lot.

"Hey babe, I'm going to come find you now."

* * *

**AN: Yeah that wasn't too cute or sweet.**


	7. Happy New Year

**One-shot: Happy New Year**

**Rating: K+ **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Victorious characters.**

**Summary: It's New Year's Eve. **

**Word count: 864**

**Continuity: On New Year's Eve**

**AN: This is the last one-shot because the holiday season is pretty much over. Thanks for reading. And a HUGE thank you for those of you that reviewed or favorite/followed to let me know what you thought or that you liked it. I had fun writing these and I hope you liked reading them (at some level). One question, should I keep writing one-shots (not holiday related) or do you think they are too cliché and there are way too much of those out there?**

**AN2: Happy 2013 everyone.**

* * *

"Your stupid phone is vibrating again" yelled an annoyed Jade.

"Can you pick it up?" Beck yelled back.

Jade reached over to his phone and answered it.

"Why the heck are you calling?" Jade said in a disgusted tone, making Beck hope it wasn't his grandparents, or any of his other relatives.

She rolled her eyes at whatever the person on the other end said before commenting, "And you decided it was a good idea to ask Beck to be your date?"

Beck was relieved to hear the word "date." It meant it wasn't a family member.

"We're not interested." And with that Jade hung up.

"Who was it?" Beck asked as he walked up to Jade.

"Stupid Vega."

Beck exhaled an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"What was THAT for?" Jade glared at her boyfriend.

"I'm just relieved that it was Tori. She's use to your verbal abuse," he teased.

"I don't verbally abuse Tori. And what I just said wasn't even mean," she protested.

"That's true." Beck agreed, making Jade smirk. "But only the second part," he continued.

"What?"

"I still think you verbally abuse Tori."

"Whatever." Jade brushed it off and typed away on her phone.

"So what did she want?"

"She wanted you to love her."

"Jade…" Beck warned.

"She wanted to see if we were going to that party."

"The one at Mark's house?"

"The huge party at Mark's house that everyone at Hollywood Arts is at right now," Jade replied in her Tori voice.

"I already told her that we weren't going."

"I did too, but she wanted to make sure we didn't want to go because it was just so much fun and so crazy right now," Jade went back to her Tori voice.

"You don't right?" Beck questioned, wanting to make sure.

"Not really."

"You sure?"

"We went through this conversation already."

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Why? Do you want to?" Jade looked up from her phone.

"No. I'm the one who suggested this, remember?" The couple had decided to stay in Beck's RV for New Year's Eve. They had just gotten back together and Beck wanted to spend a holiday together, just the two of them. Christmas had been taken over by Beck's relatives and Jade's father's company stuff, so they couldn't spend Christmas together, which made Beck insistent on spending New Year's with Jade, just the two of them.

"Yeah, but you sounded like you changed your mind."

"I would never change my mind about spending New Year's with my lovely girlfriend," Beck said, reaching out to hug Jade.

But he was pushed off and told, "Get off of me you sap."

"I'm sad. Do you see how sad I am right now? I'm crying," Beck replied.

"Cat's coming over later." Jade ignored Beck's pouting.

"Why?"

"Why can't she?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"She's bringing tea."

"Wait what?" Beck was completely confused now.

"She's bringing New Year's tea….and Robbie." Jade said as if that explained everything.

"I'm really confused."

"Cat has a New Year's tea party every year. I don't think I can explain it any better."

Beck nodded. Cat was hard to understand sometimes.

"I'm not sure I want her to come," Beck admitted.

"Why not? I thought Cat was your friend," Jade was surprised Beck, Mr. Please-Jade-you-have-to-learn-to-love-everyone, would say that.

"We were supposed to spend New Year's Eve alone." Beck's brow furrowed.

"She won't be here all night. Besides, if you don't let her come, she might cry for week. Or beat you up." Jade warned.

"Speaking of that, why is Cat so good at…violence?"

"Long story," Jade brushed the question off.

"Fine, she can come."

"I wasn't asking for your approval. I was telling you."

"I know. It's always that way."

Jade just glared at him and didn't reply.

"So why kind of tea is Cat bringing?" Beck asked, trying to see if Jade was actually angry.

"Just ask what you want to ask." Jade was good at telling what people were thinking. She often chose to ignore it, but she knew. And Jade was especially good at reading Beck.

"Why would Cat cry if you don't let her come?"

Jade just sighed and rolled her eyes. But Beck looked at her expectedly.

So Jade answered, "Cat and I always spend New Year's Eve together. We've been together on New Year's Eve for the past 10…11…12…years. 12 years."

"That's a long time."

"And we've had New Year's tea every single year."

"Oh. Sorry." Beck looked a little sheepish.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I didn't know that it was a tradition."

"I really don't care."

"Cat cares."

"Cat isn't here right now, is she?" Jade raised her eyebrows as she said this.

"Can I try the New Year's tea?"

"I guess."

"Jadeeeeeeeee" Beck started poking her.

"What?"

"It's New Year's Eve."

"You just realize that? I'm so glad you found a calendar." Jade was definitely known for her sarcasm.

"Jadeeeeeeee" Beck started again.

"Fine. What?"

"You know what happens at midnight?"

Jade looked up from her phone and raised her eyebrow.

Beck continued, "We should practice."

"We've had plenty of practice. Stupid." Jade said before leaning towards her boyfriend.

_**Fin.**_

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**AN: Again, thanks guys XD Let me know which one(s) your favorite(s) is/are. **


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